Menahem - Turn 316

Ignoring Stumpy and Dar, Joshua turns to Menahem and says, "Only about another 68 floors to go!"

Menahem however does not answer, he is licking his lips as he looks towards the knowledge-giving terminal thing he can see. Twisting the Ring of Shape-Changing, he decides to blend in with the crowd.

Distracted as he is, the result is not a total success. He has the beach gear, but whether his pale and ascetic frame quite matches the bright green baggy shorts is another matter. But he heads off towards the terminal anyway.

Stumpy meanwhile looks round at the pneumatic babes and tries to control himself. He mutters a mantra under his breath, "We're on a mission, we're on a mission. Think of the money, we're on a mission."

Finally he realises he is still a bit tense, so he pulls out some dried brain weed and cadges a light off Dar.

Dar ignites his Zeepo and almost singes Stumpy's nose as his own attention is drawn firmly on the bouncy blondes.

Stumpy looks at the rest of the group as he tries unsuccessfully to blow smoke rings.

"Like now where guys? Not that I want to hassle you or anything, but like we've got to..." Stumpy seems to lose concentration for a moment, "Wow, just look at the chicks. Anyone mind if I go for a swim?"

"Nope, I say let's go and say hello to the ladieess!" says Dar and the two of them start to head through the mainly fake tropical plants towards their targets.

As they do so there is a 'Hero Gathering' style flash and Dar can be just about heard to say, "T'sardan not now!"

Joshua is becoming a little frustrated as he tries to keep the group together but it is off in several directions, only Solomon remaining by his side as now Eorconlid strides off towards the bar area.

The F'norian priest does his best to remember details on Floor 32 but recalls only that it was mainly apartments.

As at Dingles, Menahem presses buttons, but they don't make the same sort of sense. He gets frustrated, kicks the thing and bawls at it to give him answers.

There is a tap on his shoulder from a leisure attendant who points out that he has to insert money.

Menahem smiles sheepishly and hauls some oraks out from the inside of his shorts, much to the amusement of Eorconlid who is wandering over with a drink in his hand.

Menahem desperately tries ramming the oraks in the slot and finds that his coins are too big to fit. He then starts begging people on loungers to help, offering to exchange his gold for the 'mind-givers'.

One man looks at the coins Menahem offers, tries biting it and as realisation starts to dawn, he hands Menahem all of his small change in exchange.

Coin inserted, Menahem starts to play what appears to be a game with Eorconlid peering over his shoulder.

He begins by reading the instructions very, very, very carefully, determined as ever to get it right first time.

He chooses a character. He decides to be someone he isn't, going for the musclely bloke with the big sword.

He tries a few experimental buttons and sees himself flip cartwheels and lash out with windpipe-breaking kicks.

"That's a Half-Pike Kel Kick, I can do that," pipes up Eorconlid but Menahem is not listening, his attention is fully on the screen.

Then the enemies appear and his index finger starts to stab and an alarming rate. It is a tough contest, but Menahem is up to it despite the 'helpful' and rather obvious comments from the watching Eorconlid of 'Its behind you' 'Hit that one' 'Duck! Duck!'.

Menahem's opponents lie bloody and broken behind him. He lifts his arms to salute the gladatorial crowd, only to see a serious-looking Joshua and Solomon approaching.

Joshua pretends to be listening to his skull-wand as he tells Eorconlid, "According to my friend here there's an exact working replica, and I mean working in all functions, on Floor 31 of 'The Crystal Ball Boparama' so I suggest we quickly make for that floor."

Eorconlid nods as if he is listening but it is obvious his attention is elsewhere. He cadges a coin from Menahem, pointing out that he will 'show him how it is done'.

Coin inserted, Eorconlid chooses the same musclely character as Menahem but his own fighting prowess in the real-world does not transfer to the game and Menahem cannot hide a smile at the F'norian chieftain's ineptitude with the buttons and joystick.

Eorconlid's face is starting to go red with angry frustration, the machine rocking with his sharp pulls and tugs on the joystick.

Over at the false undergrowth, out steps Dar and Stumpy who are back from their Hero Gathering jaunt. Stumpy now wearing the ring he found, the Ring of Eternal Beauty that has certainly changed his appearance.

Suddenly from over at the girls playing volleyball, one who has the ball spots him, her mouth dropping open and the colourful globe falls from her finger.

Her friends look over to where she is looking and there is suddenly the girlish shrieks of, "It's Davod Hasseloff!"

Stumpy is literally mobbed as more and more people join the crowd about him, one person heard to say, "He's a bit shorter than he is on vid."

Dar is trying his luck with some of the girls but finds that they simply think him to be 'Davod's' bodyguard. One does believe him to be a washed up vid star who used to appear in a show called 'Riptide' and tells Dar, "I thought you were dead."

Dar soon finds that he has a hard time protecting himself let alone Stumpy from the reaching hands of the adoring crowd all of whom seem to want a part of their hero.

There is an explosion of sparks and smoke billows from the smashed screen of the machine into which the enraged Eorconlid has inserted his fist.

"I told you," declares Joshua to the F'norian chieftain, "this floor is for fighters who are big with weapons but small in the trouser area!"

Solomon points out, "We should find where the other exit from this Leisure Suite is and get to a lift to get us down to the floor we want."

It is then he notices the crowd now mobbing Dar and Stumpy. Stumpy's helmet being the first souvenir to be carried away by an overaught fan.

"Don't you think," says Solomon, "that we should rescue those two?"